It's there again. 

Life overwhelms me. 

She is so incredibly beautiful and so absolutely ferocious. 

I look at the trees swaying in streetlights,

'Petite Noir - Noirse' fills me up. Echoes in all the corners of my being. 

And I let Her, wash over me, while my Emotion cries out, my Consiousness tells me i'm magic. Magic for excisting in this world, in this version of reality. 

There it is again.
That suffocating feeling.
How can creativity flow when my house is clogged up like this?
How can new ideas come to me when i blocked the gateway with junk and worries?

Time off makes me anxious. It's official.

This shouldn't be 'life' .

Trying a bit harder to actually do things I dream of.
It's stressing me out, so badly it makes my jaw hurt so bad.
Apparently I hold my jaws so tightly together.

New challenge: Follow my dreams and achieve my goals without killing myself.

This feeling came over me.
I'm the happy kind of sad.
I feel vulnerable.
So full and so empy at the same time.

I think there is something shifting.
My dreams are wild and apparently I've been acting scared/laughing/talking/moving in my sleep,
which is not like me.

I haven't been focused on the past as much as I used to.
I think that might be it. My consciousness is more in the present now.
And it's still uneasy.

I don't think I'm an exceptional being to see or experience.
But today I felt like people could look trough my eyes and right in to my soul.
And they did.

Dear fear-of-failure,

Can you extend your holiday-travels so I can at least realize i'll be having the chance to do what I love, paid, for 10 days the coming month. Thank you.

Love,

Su